Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
