i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
