Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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