I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
