the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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