i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
