So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
