i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
