i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
