my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
it's like heaven, but drunker
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
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