i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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