Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You're like the curious george of whores
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
