Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
