Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You are a genius and a whore.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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