It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
as a side note pls kill me
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
