STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
