the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
