no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
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