A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
