hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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