Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Soap is not a condiment
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
