Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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