Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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