I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
