what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
