normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
