I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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