im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
