Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Congratulations! We have a period
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
