Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
