I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
