Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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