i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
