Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We need to get me chipped asap
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
