I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
