I am spending my child support on dildos
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
