Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
