i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
