This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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