i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
