I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
