I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
