That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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