Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
