Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
did i walk over a car last night?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
