I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
