I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
