Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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