There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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