So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
