If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
